This should be a quick blog this week. I wanted to hit on a subject that most seem to avoid. For those that know me, I’m a happy type. I laugh, joke, and make light of any situation. This stems from having a rough past where drama happened at home, church, and school. I want make life bearable for myself and my peers. I was that kid that everyone wanted to pick on. My skin was thin and I wore my heart on my sleeve. Though I have thicker skin now, I still keep my heart on my sleeve. I like it there for the world to see. Anywho, as a child I became angry; very angry.
When I got older I realized I didn’t want to be angry anymore. However, I didn’t know how to feel good. Happiness didn’t come natural. Happiness usually meant disappointment was around the corner. So I used what I had in order to be happy; anger.
This is how it worked on a chemical level. Stress would build, tension would increase, and I knew I wanted to “undo” the stress. This is where I would explode. Like a death-metal banshee screaming into a mic I would unleash a verbal assault onto my stressor. This would cause a surge of adrenaline to course my body, and it felt good. Once I was finished being angry, the adrenaline would dissipate. This would lead me into a chemical downer. This downer is where I want the focus of this blog to be.
Stress happens. However, a calm approach is most effective. Think of it as weather. Calm weather is not stressful. In fact, most of us would prefer it. Now think of the calm that comes after a large storm, tornado, or hurricane. That is the difference between calming down without loosing our temper, or picking up the pieces in the aftermath.
Our approach should never be violent. Words can be violent. Instead, we need to focus on being constructive. It’s taken me quite some time to reach this point. I know I’m not alone in this. We all have our moments.
So why bring it up. Because it needs to be said. We should never use anger to calm ourselves. Yes, that downer can feel good. Really! I enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed coming off of a runners-high. But, anger is destructive. I believe anger has its place. (small tiny place) That place is not here. Adrenaline should never replace serotonin. If we want to calm ourselves, then we should do it in a calm manner. Breathing exercises, meditation, and good verbal practice should be at hand.
There is no anger in happiness. If we feel we can’t keep it together, then we need to get to a secluded area and proceed with our best impression of Napalm Death. Afterwards, breathe with the lower abdomen; slow, steady, and with purpose. It’s easy to beat ourselves up for losing control. However, if we lose it in a secluded area, then we lost it under our terms. A lot can be said about having that type of control.
Do I ever loss my temper? Yes. I still have moments of frustration. However, my peers are in the same boat as I am, and we are very supportive of each other. After all, we are all human. Well, it seems this blog wasn’t as short as I hoped. Expletive! 🙂
Until the next blog, live life, be happy, and find life’s happiness.