The agreeableness trait identified the warm, caring person who gets along with everyone. Well, that’s how the story goes at least. Who wouldn’t want a world filled with these people. But like everything else. moderation is essential.Though there are awesome pros to having this trait, the cons are not far behind.

The good:

Where to begin. I love these people. They’re easy going. Accepting of others, good in helping us out of a bind, and are usually the support we need. They are the good friends who are willing to go the extra mile for us.  They do not try to “win” the conversation. They listen with an open mind. It doesn’t mean they agree with us. They are willing to hear us out.  They make great friends and usually have lasting relationships.

The bad:

These are the ones who feel obligated to others. (Not their work; that’s consciousness) No, these are the ones who  do not want to let others down.  They will sacrifice themselves in an effort to keep others happy. This is toxic, and is a bad practice. We are not being fair to ourselves if we cater to others in a continuous manner.  It’s not natural to want to cause others pain. But, an person who scores high in agreeableness will go too far to prevent this pain. 

The truth: 

Most of us do a great job at taking care of ourselves and each other. There is nothing wrong with helping others. However, if helping others puts us or our family in a bind, its not worth the pain. People worth being around will understand if we cannot assist them. We should never feel obligated to others on the basis of “No one else will be there for them.” We are human. we have our limitations and will do well to stay within those limitations.

When I was starting out on my own, I scored high on this trait. Yes, I want everyone to like me. I wanted to help everyone. I needed to be dependable Steve. As I got older, I’ve leaned a lot on how much caring is too much caring. Believe it or not, people will take advantage of others. Now days, I help when I can. If I cannot help without putting myself in a bind, I don’t help. It part of growing up. Finding that balance is important. Its another notch in finding life’s happiness.

Until the next blog, live life, be happy, and find life’s happiness

at1_retired@yahoo.com

Steve Curtis