Rebuttals Are Not For Conversations

I politely mean this when I say, stop thinking of a counter statement when spoken to. Life is not a debate. We are not required to argue our point until everyone agrees or concedes. My military career has taught me a lot about people who do not listen. Most advisories are not listening, but planning their next statement. People, with this mindset, hate talking to a slow dialect conversationalist. Speed is the need. Be quick and witty to win the prize. But, what if we paused and let their words sink in?

Quick and witty responses have little to no depth. Shot from the hip, they aim to trigger reflex emotions. “What is your response to THIS or THAT?” They remind me of Buck Rogers and his ray-gun, pew pew pew. If we are to show any depth in our conversation, then perhaps we shouldn’t emulate this fictional character.

I recall being in a conversation with a chap who had a rebuttal for every statement. As I spoke, this gentlemen’s eyes glazed, a clear sign he wasn’t listening. So I stopped and listened. With a half-cocked smile, he asked if a cat caught my tongue. “No,” I replied, “I’m waiting for an answer with substance, not your rebuttal.” He stormed off, muttering something about my ignorance, and never talked to me after that. His loss, I suppose. 🙂

In my youth, I strived to have the best answer first. Age has afforded me the wisdom to enjoy more in-depth conversations. This, my friends, is life. There is a joy to be found when we listen and enjoy each other thoughts.

So, in this first blog of 2020, I implore you to save the rebuttals for the debate teams and courtrooms. We all have something to say. It’d be nice if someone listened.

Thank you for taking the time out of your day to listen. After all, a blog is not complete until it is read.

Steve Curtis

4 thoughts on “Rebuttals Are Not For Conversations

  1. Pema Chodron said that the best way to respond to someone you disagree with is with curiosity, and I think she’s right.

    “Why do you feel that way?” is likely to lead to a better conversation than “Here’s where you’re wrong…”

    Liked by 1 person

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