“You look better with a smile” is rude.

A smile, hope, or confidence can rise from a single word. But the job is not completed with words alone. Facial expressions are the icing on the cake. A simple “Hello” from a smiling face breathes life into a desolate room. Now, imagine that same salutation but with a grimacing look. Whoa! That’s enough to make goose pimples jump. Our words have force. They can hit like a fist or sooth like a gentle touch.

Words are not corporeal. We cannot see them, nor can we touch them. It is why we rely on facial expressions. Bright eyes, combined with a joyful smile, creates a warm facial expression. Angry eyes, combined with a cheery smile, shape a face that lacks bringing comfort. It’s easy to see why smiling faces are in such demand.

When we smile with genuine intent, dopamine and serotonin are released. It’s a feel-good party in the brain, and we want everyone to feel good. It is why people are inclined to say, “Smile!”. However, people do not like being told what to do. There’s a reflex in our brain that says, “who are you to tell me what to do?”. We all have it, and that’s not a bad thing. Nonetheless, that my friend is the perfect formula for discontentment; our wanting others to feel good and our not wanting others telling us what to do.

We are not equal when it comes to handling stress. Minor obstacles may create a significant stumbling block for others. For example, filing taxes are quite simple in my eyes. However, I have known people who can look at a 1040ez form and not comprehend what to do. It also goes to show that we should not judge others for their inability to complete a task. We all have our strengths and weaknesses.

Our perception of the day determines its quality. Commands are the last thing we want. Yes, we want everyone to be happy. But we cannot make everyone happy. It’s like forcing a flower to bloom. We can talk and listen to help others achieve a better mindset, but only when they are ready for the company. Never force someone to express themselves. That is uncouth.

Rather than a command, give a reason to smile. A compliment, hug, or assistance can go further than making a suggestion. These small actions are the sunshine to a rose petal.

5 thoughts on ““You look better with a smile” is rude.

  1. Agreed 🙂 A smile can make a day, and a negative comment can ruin it. But regardless of that, it feels weird when people randomly stay stuff like: “you don’t smile much in your pictures!” When in reality, all it takes is the biggest effort to smile for a picture that you really not in the mood to take 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I rebuked a neighbor for insisting that people “should” smile–why? Because he was self-consumed in his happy little world where he ruled and reigned, and he lacked compassion for others. I pointed out that, as i was older than he by almost 10 years and suffered chronic pain and diminished vision and hearing, I was not frowning by choice–I often was squinting and probably grimacing. Fortunately, he moved away–and for that reason, I’m smiling 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • I concur and believe most of the intention comes from dealing with children. A few kind words and a child feels lifted and comes out smiling. As adults, it’s not that easy. We can’t slap a smile on our face and instantly feel better. We need to come to terms with our problem. It may take time, and people want instant satisfaction in knowing they “fixed” us. Some people don’t understand what it means to give someone space and time.

      Oh my! Didn’t mean to go on a tangent here. Thanks for the reply, and have a beautiful day.

      Liked by 1 person

    • I agree with you! Women are told, even ordered to smile, more than men are! I have been. It happened far more frequently when I was in my twenties and diminished in occurrence with each decade, perhaps because I was seen as more compliant in my younger years!

      I’d love to say that being told to smile changed a bad mood to a good one, but alas, it never did!

      I never got the feeling that the issuer of the command cared one little bit about what was upsetting me, they only wished for my face not to upset their world where young women smiled.

      When I tried to explain myself, I was mansplained and told that “surely a pretty young woman such as myself couldn’t have any serious problems!”

      I guess as I got older it became acceptable that I could have problems in my life which would take away my smile!

      Liked by 2 people

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