In the blog Little Limbic, we covered how stress can affect the brain’s limbic system development. Then, in the blog Hope: A Poor Child’s Dream To Succeed, we questioned if a child born into poverty can succeed in life or are we to believe that child is destined for poverty and a life of crime? 

2+2=4 This is an easy math problem to understand. 1+1+1+1=4 is just as comprehendible. Notice how we changed the integers, but the sum remains the same. It is the same with our lives. Some changes in our lives will lead us back to our current situation. 

Let’s say we had a troubled friend who we support and sent through rehab. After going through the course and becoming clean, they move back to the same house, hang out with the same friends, and pick up where they left off. There is a high probability that despite our help, that individual will continue to be our troubled friend.

Back to us and our lives, what can we do to change our lives for the better? First, I’d like to say that we all have the right to better our lives if we so choose. We do not have the right to use and manipulate others to achieve our goals. Secondly, we need to recognize when enough is enough. “Want” is a bottomless pit that we will never fill. We will always want more. This is the reason Samsung created a 146” TV. Some people believe they need this for their home. Will a TV that size fit through the door of my doublewide? 

Anywho. Boundaries have to be set and maintained. Limits are like destinations; they let us know when we can stop. Now, this doesn’t mean that we are to stay in the moment forever. We don’t take road trips then say OK; we can’t go anywhere else. No, we take time to enjoy the moment, absorb the scene, then move on. 

Might I add that absorbing the scene seems to be something people do little of nowadays? We are often in such a rush that we forget to stop and smell the roses. Roses want to be smelled, people. There is a severe lack of rose smelling, and I will not stand for it, ladies and gentlemen. Granted, this is stated while I’m in the northern hemisphere in the middle of February with no rose to smell. But still, I rant; smell the roses.

Now that we had that tangent, we can move forward. There is nothing wrong with being happy with having a little. Finding satisfaction is another action that we have little desire to do. Believe it or not, people are willing to trade their place in life with us. I have seen corporate people who dreamed of living a simple life without the bustle of the city. And, I’ve seen people in the country dream about living in the city. We should always appreciate what we have; just as it could be better, it could worsen. 

Thirdly, we must place value on our lives. I’m not talking about dollar amounts. I’m speaking about having a sense of worth. We deserve to be happy, and we deserve respect. Notice this I said we deserve these things. We do not demand them. If someone is not willing to respect us, then let them be. If they will not let us be, we need to take proper channels to report the situation. If nothing is done, then we need to change our position. Why should we change? Because this system mentioned is not willing to help. We cannot and will not change the system. We must go where we are accepted and respected. Now for a reality check. Let’s say we have changed our position repeatedly, and no matter where we go, people still don’t respect us. Then, it’s time to look at ourselves. Seek counseling if need be. Sometimes we get so narcissistic that we believe everyone else is the problem. We fail to see that we are the ones causing trouble in our own lives. 

If we are to find happiness, we must be honest with ourselves. We may not like the answers, but at least we have a solid foundation to build on. Trust me on this one. I had to swallow my pride and admit that I caused a lot of my own problems. I had that moment when I looked in the mirror and said, “I fucking suck.” I don’t suck, and the expletive signifies the level of disappointment I had when I realized I was my own stumbling block. That’s a hard pill to swallow. 

Where do we go from here? How do we head towards happiness? That will be next week’s blog. 

Until then, live life, be happy, find life’s happiness, and click “like”.