Mindset Of A Drama-Llama

Photo by Magnus Martinsen from Pexels

Solitude brings a deafening silence that forces us to take a long hard look at who we are. Some people may like what they see, but most will not. As we gawk at ourselves, we tend to focus on the negatives. 

“We don’t do this or that. We failed in these areas. And, our peers agree we suck.” 

We feed our inner demons and become our worst critic.

Deeds from the past come crawling out of their graves. Our minds begin to rationalize what we should do and what we should have done. An avalanche of “if’s” devour our confidence until we are nothing more than a whimpering soul wishing we had done more. 

Not everyone welcomes downtime and silence. Some need to stay busy to avoid the spotlight. Or, perhaps, they need to cause others trouble to prevent a judgemental eye from their peer.

The drama we create keeps others on their feet and off of our backs. At first, the troubles are small, but as life goes on, we become better at manipulating peers. We fabricate so many stories that it is hard to see the truth. And the best part is we are getting away with it. No one knows we are involved. We have successfully become drama-llamas.

No longer do we need to look at our ugliness. We have the world dancing and trying to put out the fiery rumors that burn in their world. Our intentions lie within the fact that no one cares about unseen imperfections. Perhaps we’ll rush in and save them, becoming a hero and “true friend.” How great would we look then?

Some of us are addicted to drama. Peace brings tranquillity. Chaos brings change. New people equals new opportunities. We hope things will be better. This is a prodigal dream due to our lack of self-improvement. It is selfish to change our environment, peers, or stature, but not change ourselves. Only a juvenile mind would scream, “I want others to hurt because I hurt. Why should I be the only one with pain?” A fool seeks comfort from pity. We are better than this.

To peer into the thoughts of those who are mentally addicted to drama helps us to understand the simple fact that we cannot help those that do not help themselves. It is my personal opinion that we should avoid drama-lovers. They are toxic and will cause harm until they change their mindset. When dealing with anyone, whether good or bad, be professional. Treat others with dignity and respect. Sometimes this does mean that we need to excuse ourselves before we lose self-control. 

If we feel that trouble follows us everywhere, then we need to evaluate our disposition. We must accept the fact that life is not good nor bad. Life is existence. Our motive, mindset, and attitude determine our perception. We are the reason we believe life is for or against us. Events happen every day; our approach determines how we cope. 

When an unexpected bump in the road comes our way, we can either smile and say, “That was unexpected.” Or, we can get mad and chuck expletives and everything that moves around us. The choice is ours. 

Until the next blog, live life and be happy.

Coping Is Not Being 100%

If we are coping, then we are good, right? After all, to cope means to deal with a problem successfully. Yes, but no. I believe this is where we forget that we are human. If we are dealing with an issue, then we have not found a resolution.

Imagine a person treading water in the ocean. How long can that person last before being overwhelmed with fatigue? Now let’s say we cruise by in our boat, see the swimmer, and think, “Meh, they’re fine.” and pull away, leaving the poor soul to fend on their own. This is the same course we take when we assume others are all right.

All aspects of life can reach a level of fatigue. Social, financial, physical, mental, or whatever we are susceptible to catastrophic exhaustion. It’s at that point when we see no way out that depression and anxiety take control. By managing the stress in these areas, we can mitigate our problems. This means that we may need to rely on others to pull through.

When assessing our situation, be honest. Just because our head is above the water does not mean we are doing well. If someone asks how we are doing, don’t reflexively volley the answer, “I’m fine.” If we are not “fine,” then we shouldn’t say we are. That’s called lying. We do not need fiery pants.

Nevertheless, we don’t need to console everyone that asks how we are doing. That would be ridiculous. But, if we need assistance, then we should look for it before we sink. Don’t worry about being a burden on others. If they asked for our help, we would be there, right? The same applies to us. They will be there for us, especially if they are checking on how we are doing.

If we are coping, then we have not found a resolution to our problem. We balance and manage our stress effectively as not to overburden our daily routine. We may not be 100%, but we are steady. And when the time comes, and we need assistance, we will find it. All we need to do is ask.

Until the next blog, live life and be happy.

OCEAN-5 Traits- Openness

This week we start by jumping into the acronym with openness. Just as the word states, a person who scores high in the openness trait is more likely to be adventurous, social, and open-minded. New ideas and expressions tickle their interest. Creativity shines in the work they produce. A person of openness does not merely work, they spawn an expression.

The Good:

The imagination knows no limits. Unlike an overly analytical person, a person who thinks outside of the box will produce new solutions to new problems. This is why researchers, advertisers, designers, and landscapers need creativity. A person of openness is not afraid to ask what if. No, they dance outside of conventional thinking. Outgoing and adventurous, they seek new ideas and plow onward to unthought thoughts of thinkingness… and stuff. Thus, my friends, these majestic brainstormers cannot be entertained by Dolly Parton’s 9-5. They need substance; not monotony. For the love of jelly beans, do not cubicaltize (made up word) these poor souls.

The Bad:

What could be so bad with a little creativity? In a cookie cut world, flair and design is needed like a breath of fresh air; unless precession is needed time after time after time. There are things in this world that do require a lack of creativity. Working a non-stimulating factory assembly line job everyday, every month, for 40 some years is not for the person who craves new experiences. In tandem,  cubicle life, as mentioned earlier, can mentally drain a person who loves to meet new people on a daily basis. Or even worse, monotonous life can lead a person of openness to depression. The lack of inspiration, creativity, or problem solving can be mentally damaging.

The Truth:

It is rare that a person scores absolute on openness. Honestly, most of us score somewhere in the middle. We have a healthy balance between “what is” and “what if”. We need to be mindful of those who like change, and those who embrace a monotonous lifestyle. Never assume a person of openness is creative or a great problem solver. They may be adventurous or love meeting new people.  Understanding this trait and how we fall within it will help us understand how we act and react to our environment.

Keep in mind that we can change our trait score.  Perhaps not overnight, but it can be done. A person who refrains from being social and open to new experiences can learn to enjoy meeting new people and trying new things. As we go through life we change. Our likes and interests in our 20’s no longer seem to be in view in our 40’s. Don’t think it’s true?  Try partying with 20 year olds when you turn 40. Like a slap in the face reality shows us how much we have changed. As stated in the Introductory Blog please do not run out and try to change others. This is for us to self-evaluate and assess what changes we need. This is how we become the person we want to be. Or, maintain the person we love being.

There we have. Come back next week as we explore conscientiousness.

Until the next blog, live life, be happy, and find life’s happiness.

at1_retired@yahoo.com

Steve Curtis

OCEAN-5 Traits-Intro

This week we are starting a new segment geared towards our personality. Get ready as we begin to dissect our soul, or that tender part that makes us feel … feelings … and stuff. 

Moving on!

 Characternaturedispositiontemperamentmakeuppersonapsyche, and identity all describe our personality. So, what is personality, and why is it important? Imagine, if you will, a life without personality. Smiles and frowns would not exist. We would go about our business without emotional impulses. Music, dancing, even corny dad jokes would not have a place in this world. <Scream> The horror!

Our personality plays a huge role in who we are and how we interact with others. Are we open to new ideas or do we have a death grip on tradition? (The song from Fiddler on the Roof is now stuck in my head.) Perhaps we are neurotic (moody) in the most extreme way. Is that bad or wrong? Not in the least, so long as we treat others well and keep our negative disposition and anxieties in check. And that my friends is where the Big 5 Traits come in.

There are other tests and personality defining tools out there. However, as of today, there isn’t a single test that fits everyone. That is how unique we are across the board. Even the Big 5 falls short. However, I love it for it’s simplicity and the traits score changes as we change. So, without further adieu, I present the Big 5 traits.

Think of OCEAN and the five traits become easier to remember.

Openness – Those that score high here are creative, abstract thinkers, and may love new challenges.

Conscientiousness – High scores here point to a thoughtful, goal oriented and organized person. Attention to detail may be a top priority.

Extroversion – (also written extraversion) Expressive, loves to converse, and finds meeting new people rewarding may define a top scorer in this category.

Agreeableness – Score high here and we may find a person who cares about others. They tend to be more of a team player; as opposed to a competitive person.

Neuroticism – Anxiety and stress may plague this high-scorer. They may be the one to get upset with ease.

There you have it folks the five traits we will cover through the next several weeks. We’ll cover the good, bad, and the ugly side of each personality. It’s all in an effort to help learn what makes us act the way we do. And, how to change. Seriously, people can change their personality. With that being said… Do no run out to annoying people and tell them to change or how to change. That would be uncouth. To the level of uncouthness that uncouth would shout “I’m not like that!” Don’t be that person. This is for us to use so that we may become better towards those around us. Or so that we may become the person we want to be.

So, until the next blog live life, be happy, and find life’s happiness.

at1_retired@yahoo.com

Steve Curtis

 

The Light Bulb

Darkness envelops the room.  Each step is  made with caution; remembering key item placement. Recollection of past encounters with the sofa, end table, and recliner intensifies the “Marco Polo” moment.

A flip of the light switch would be capital. Instead, a little toe cringes with each step. A noise from the darkness brings inquiries filled with hair raising fear.  The black canvass builds the perfect stage for imagination to dance on. One can almost see a clown with a knife-filled smile. Or perhaps the coat rack makes the perfect clown mannequin. Either way, expletives were announced.

The hand glides along a painted sheetrock wall until the target is found. A single flick chases the darkness away. Another pinky toe is saved. Though completed many times before with different results, an enlightened thought enters the room.

Does the light bulb know the darkness, or does the luminary friend merely shine; unaware of the salvation?

Positive people bring happiness as a light bulb brings peace of mind. The depression, stress, and tension melt within a single smile. Hope is found in the realm of a friendship; not realizing the peace and happiness captured in the moment.

How sad the world would be without a light bulb.

The Battle Within A Soul

Darkness envelops as fear takes hold.

Anxiety clouds the mind.

A dry throat reveals the nervousness within.

Hopelessness beckons the heart as despair soon follows.

These to behemoths have quenched the life out of millions and seek millions more.

Salvation seems so far away.

However , a truth resides deep within.

Darkness can only reach an absolute value. Once the light is completely extinguished darkness has reached it’s full capacity.

But, light has no limitations. What starts as a spark soon wisps into a flickering flame.

Forced to back throttle, darkness loses it hold. A roaring fire quickly illuminates everything. Darkness will always have it’s shadows, but light will always control the shadows. Thus, continues the battle within the soul.