January is coming! With the title of “Divorce Month,” many marriages are in trouble. But why? When I started this week’s blog, I thought infidelity was the number one reason. It turns out; money is our biggest problem. Who knew, right?
Why is January the chosen month for divorces? It’s the month of reflection and resolution, new year-new me. However, the thought of separation doesn’t just pop in one’s brain. No, this is something we contemplate. Money can be tight during the winter months. But this my friends is just the icing on the cake. We must dig deeper to find the root of our problem.
Self-preservation is human nature. If we open up to another, then we are vulnerable to that person. With this stated, it’s no wonder people don’t express their feeling towards each other. Many people say what they believe the other wants to hear. Even if this means sacrificing who they are. But, this never lasts forever. We need to be honest with each other. Believe it or not, we change. Who we were seven years ago is not who we are now. The same is true with our spouses. Engage, listen, and learn whom we married.
There are two types of money-savers, those that do and those that don’t. Very rarely do we find marriage with two savers. Our next rarity is two spenders. I don’t need to explain the problem here. Most of us fall into a category of one spender and one saver. And so the battle begins. One saves too much while the other must buy everything under the sun. So you know, we needed that Bluetooth toaster. The bottom line here, talk and come to an understanding. Come to a common goal.
“Don’t worry, Steve. I have it covered with my other bank account.” Sure this will work out fine until your partner learns of your secret stash, then wonders what other secrets you may have. This is a train wreck waiting to happen. Please don’t do it. There is nothing wrong with having separate accounts, but be upfront and honest. Having three accounts is not uncommon (my money, your money, and our money). Bills and groceries come from our money while little nick-knacks come from my and your accounts. Is it a perfect system? No, there are no ideal systems. But, it’s better than the secret stash.
The point is, money is not worth divorcing over. With 50 percent of marriages ending in divorce, wouldn’t it be nice to stop the cycle? We deserve love. As stated earlier, marriage is not natural. Two souls must be willing to fight for each other to make love work. Their bond must grow stronger until they become one. This is the beauty of marriage.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.